too late for heroes.....

i haven't blogged for a while now, and lets just say, its been a shitty couple of weeks.
besides breaking a really great guys heart, i started some of my "old habits" again, scaring a couple of my friends. and after much d & m-ing, that i didn't want, i've made no progress, not to the knowledge of the two trying their hardest to help, and they both don't read blogs so i doesn't matter. as much as i love the fact they are trying to help, it's my problem, and i need to get around it.
though thankyou to those that have been there for me. and i'm sorry to each one of them as well. it's really hard to tell someone you don't want their help, when all they will concentrate on is helping. guys, i'm sorry, but i don't need it. you probably think i do, but i'm ok.

another thing that has added to a shitty couple of days is that good old stereotype that a few music students seem to be getting. you know, get this i bet you never knew this. music students, do study other subjects, suprising i know, we don't only spend all our time doing music work. what controversy!! and funnily enough, when we do WORK OUR ARSES OFF, we have to catch up on all the work we miss, and the expectation for us to finish our work is exactly the same as the rest of the students in the class. and there are other music students in the class, not just the few that are singled out everytime. and because we are passionate about music, we get stereotyped for it. "bludge subject" ok, why don't one of you that say that come and do it for a week. yeah, good luck.

sorry, but i needed to get that off my chest.

i don't give a shit about anything anymore, and it upsets me, that i don't care about myself, and anything that happens to me. oh well. we'll see where this goes.

xx